Is it possible to eliminate the algorithm from dating sites?
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Contrived _voiceFeb 09, 2022
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People are better at relating to other people but algorithms are better at finding behavioral similarities in people's behavior. I can break down the problem into 3 parts.
Most dating sites use Collaborative filtering to get matches with potential partners, summarised is as follows "if a person A has the same opinion as a person B on an issue, A is more likely to have B's opinion on a different issue than that of a randomly chosen person." Of course, this makes sense when used in the context of shows on Netflix or products on a fashion line. People are more complicated though. The algorithm takes in superficial aspects like tattoos or height and income and uses them as points of reference when pointing you towards potential partners. I see a problem with this ,all the points have nothing to do with who the person really is as an individual, so you keep matching with people who you think you'd like but when you start talking to them you realize it could never work. You could argue that people write a bio on their profile, but it's not possible to describe a person entirely in under 200 words.
ACT 2: A rating system?
In addition to the filtering a site has to keep track of people you've rejected and those you kicked it off with but didn't go anywhere.For this they use a version of the Elo rating system used in chess. Tinder has what they call an Elo score for attractiveness. Which brings the question of how exactly do you quantify attractiveness when everyone is looking for something different? Bottom line is if the algorithm gives you alow elo score it greatly reduces the number of people you are presented to and shows you less options too. At this point it's easy to get discouraged and quit. A high elo rating on the hand means you get more matches and more choices, meaning you have to filter all of them manually causing mental and emotional fatigue and you end up quiting the app thinking everyone on there just isn't for you.
So is it posible to make a dating site that gives you matches that target your general personality or interests without falling back onto this process?
I have found a reasonable solution. Friendship. Several studies from different perpectives found that almost 70% of all sucessful relationships started of as platonic friendships. This makes sense because friendships are easy, low expectations and less judgement. Friends also have things in common ,which is how all these relationships start, be it on campus, the workplace or volunteering at a charity or goodwill.
Another study showed more couples met through friends for the first time, which also makes sense because people are of course more intuitive at knowing who would get along well with who.
Based on those points it is reasonable to assume that friendship is the basis of any meaningful relationship. What are friendships based on then?
An article on Brittanica states that having mutual interests is the first solid step when starting a friendship. What remains is to bring everything together.
Create a platform where people choose fields of interests instead of describing themselves or the type of person they are looking for. The platform could then inform you when you find a match, a match is anyone sharing over 80% interests. This could be done irregardless of gender but you would still have the option of selecting the geographical range. If it works out you get a partner that's willing to go fishing with you and talk about Edgar Allan Poe and if it doesn't, you still get a friend that will get excited about the same things you do. The added benefit is people can now introduce you to other people in an organic way like you would in real life.