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Idea
Oguntola Tobi Mar 09, 2022
A Self Development App that Enlists Friends and Family to Help You Identify and Break Harmful Habits
Image credit: Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
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Necessity
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An application where members of your inner circle can point out some of your harmful habits and provide suggestions on how you can improve.
Why?
- It will help us identify our bad, harmful habits
- It will provide suggestions, based on the experiences of our friends and family members, on how we can break these habits
How will it work?
The app will work in a way similar to how anonymous surveys work. However, it will be a private application where only certain people can view your profile. Here is how it will work:
- You download the application.
- You set up a profile
- You send invitation links to your closest friends and family; people you are like an open book with and who you interact with frequently
- They download the application, register, and create profiles
- On your profile, they can make submissions on certain bad habits they wish you can change; however, it will be anonymously
- If you are fine with other people in your circle seeing it, you will make it public
- The remainder of the people you have added can then comment on whether they have observed the same thing about you
- They can also make suggestions on how you can improve
- Each comment will be shown to you privately unless you decide to make it public
- Each comment will be made anonymously
Periodically, you can update the thread with the efforts you are making to rid yourself of the habit and ask your friends how they think you are doing.
Thought Process
We all have blind spots when it comes to our behaviors. While practicing self-awareness and mindfulness can help us identify a large number of these harmful behaviors, most people don't have the time to practice it. And for some people, laziness is the reason why they can't practice mindfulness and self-awareness.
With this application, we can recruit our most trusted friends and family members to help us identify and break this habit.
Why is it anonymous?
Honesty is a good thing. However, the people we are closest to will not always be honest with us for fear of hurting or antagonizing us. Ensuring that submissions are anonymous will ascertain they can speak their minds without fear of retaliation.
Unfortunately, you cannot always tell those who have malicious designs on you. Hence, why you have to approve it before it goes public.
What are your thoughts on this idea?
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Creative contributions
The "don't tell me what to do" problem
Efforts to change a person in any way are one of the most vital conflict igniters in any relationship.
I imagine such a platform being a total pain in the *ss for the one whose bad habits are being commented upon by others. Imagine a person opens up their profile and there are many people they know to greater or lessers extent commenting on their bad habits and suggesting how to change those, how would that person feel?
Even if the comments are anonymous it's easy to guess which person made it (cause you know your circle of people) and even if you can't guess the exact person, you know that it's someone close to you, and it's unpleasant.
We are usually aware of our bad habits, if not by means of our own introspection, then by those close to us commenting on them from time to time already. If we don't change them, means we don't want to change them enough. Do we really need additional means for emphasizing them even more?
Asking for advice on how to change a certain habit that one wants to change is a different story, but the initiative should come from the person who wants to change the habit and not vice-versa. I can hardly imagine someone wanting to hear about their bad habits from others, I think most of us are already aware of enough of our flaws we can't get rid of in the first place, no need to pile additional ones.
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General comments
jnikola2 years ago
Hi Oguntola Tobi! I think the idea is great. We sometimes find ourselves in a situation where even the friendliest comments from our closest people can feel like an attack on our freedom of choice, or let's call it, attack on identity. To be able to anonymously "say" to someone that he/she has a problem that they don't see would be great.
The first obstacle I see is the number of people in this app and the ability to be anonymous, your platform or an app enlists the closest friends and family, it would probably. in the biggest case, be around 20 people. If people anonymously reported what they seem to be detrimental or a bad habit, you would probably be able to determine who wrote that.
Also, it supports indirect communication among the closes people, which could make them separate and avoid direct talks. Maybe a better idea could be to support direct conversations, maybe one on one, to avoid a person being "attacked" by multiple persons and feeling bad.
And one more question, what kind of habits did you have in mind?
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Oguntola Tobi2 years ago
J. Nikola You've raised valid points, especially about being able to determine who wrote what. That is something I'll think more on. And about being attacked, I think the option of seeing these posts privately first goes a long way towards solving that. What do you think?
About the habits, what sparked this idea in the first instance is a friend who lacks the self-awareness to see where she is wrong when she has an altercation with other people. She is smart and intelligent but has this one flaw that I think really needs to be addressed. The problem is, she is very sensitive. So, I would rather not say something like that directly to her; hence, a platform that affords me the opportunity to be anonymous.
Other habits I can think of include:
- Inserting yourself in people's lives
- Being sarcastic all the time, even in situations when you really shouldn't be, and
- Being overly critical of other people
These are just a few I can think of.
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